purpose

Real Talk (Bridging The Talent VS Vision Gap)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

What if you only had a few more months left to live? How would YOU spend YOUR time? Would you stay at the shitty job you took to get your career started or because you didn’t know what to do with yourself, or would you restructure pretty much everything so that you could finally do the things you’ve been saying you’ll do for years? And that probably means travelling, time with family, and projects that might not work out.

Seriously think about that for a minute.

Think about the dreams you have in the back of your mind and which ones (yes plural) you are not pursuing right now. I’m sure you’re scared about them too, right?

But that’s not gonna cut the mustard anymore!

I’m going to share a list of ten things you likely haven’t considered simultaneously but seriously need to if you want to get out of your funk and start contributing to society proper. That means you need to take a good hard look at your life and what it is made up of and start dissecting many things and nurturing other less obvious things.

This is real talk! And not the creepy kind from R Kelly.

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10 Sentences That Can Change Your Perspective On Life

  1. People aren’t against you; they are for themselves.
  2. Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world.
  3. You learn more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character.
  4. The most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
  5. Go where you’re celebrated not where you’re tolerated.
  6. The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible.
  7. If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
  8. People often say that motivation doesn’t last, Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.
  9. Everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.
  10. Comfort is the enemy of achievement.

I originally found this list from imgur a few years back, so I can’t properly source it, other than the link itself, but here is the link if you want to do some investigating.

Today’s post dear readers is about this theory I have that most people are only willing to do the bare minimum to get through life.

You, yes you, as a creative person have a choice though – decide if you are willing to accept this as reality, or if you are going to fight with everything you have to stay passionate, to burn to produce something real, and to keep doing it until the day you die.

You see my friends, nobody is going to tell you the most obvious thing, they expect you to figure it out yourself.

We all have a reach that it is much longer than our grasp, in terms of asethetics/ability and our vision of what we will accomplish. We will always have this vision, from youth to our old age; but you have to work through potentially years of work in order for your talent to reach your vision.

Admittedly that last point is not my own idea, it comes from Ira Glass, host and producer of This American Life. I paraphrased it, but here is the quote I took the idea from.

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me.

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste.

But there is this gap.

For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have.

We all go through this.

And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story.

It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap. And your work will be as good as your ambitions.

And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

Ira is right though. And I am gonna expand on his idea –  when we have nothing to lose AND we are physically able, we finally hunker down and start making beautiful things. And that’s when we start to close the gap.

Take for instance this song Clouds about a young man who was an incredibly talented musician.

As delicately as I can say it, the point I am making with Zach Sobiech is not that he FINALLY started to make art and follow his passion because of his cancer (though that is true), my point is that many of us finish school or enter the workforce and give up on our dreams. That was not Zach’s story, but look how much he accomplished in 4 years because he had a purpose and committed to it.

As I mentioned, most of us wait.

But if we wait until we get sick or when we retire and show signs of age, then decide to take up “hobbies” and finally start to share our unique visions with the world, we might not close that gap.

And that’s my theory for the day. Leave some comments or reach out to me with your thoughts! I’ll see you tomorrow with a Melodic Monday review.

Tim!

Happy Thoughts (How To Find Happiness)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

What is happiness anyway? And what does it take to stay healthy and happy throughout our short time here on this spinning rock?

I often wonder about that one dear readers. Well, I think about it constantly if we are going to get down to brass tacks. I keep it on my mind and in my heart in particular for safe keeping.

With so much uncertainty in life and the responsibility to make good decisions it can be challenging to know what to do with the time we have available to us. And because of this uncertainty, it seemingly becomes a lot easier when we delegate our free will to other parties, letting them live rent-free in our heads when we should be taking care of our own shit.

Then we can live like crabs in the bucket.

You see, the well travelled route in many cases is often the least satisfying overall, but it is in our nature to avoid resistance sparked behaviour. Living our lives with a goal of everyone should have the same, and no one can do better, because then you get attacked and shamed.

And you can do it to other people too if you are feeling down ever.

Which is why that old adage of “aspire to wealth and fame, it will inevitably lead you to happiness” is a false one. Sure it is incredibly easy to work “really hard” at a singular focus, especially when that focus is one that makes money. But the results of that behaviour lead us away from what can really produce those happiness results.

Let me elaborate.

There are common career paths that people can take, and often you will find that those paths get applause from the majority of people because they are “safe” and pragmatic. But the reality is that we aren’t all cut out to be teachers, healthcare workers, engineers, accountants, and salespeople. But those jobs are prevalent everywhere, so they get positive attention.

Don’t be confused and think that I disagree with those professions, no I think that there are people who are qualified AND passionate about those areas and should be in those jobs, my concern is that the crab bucket mentality pushes people (especially creative people) who shouldn’t be in those fields to set their standards in the wrong direction.

Which is why it appears to be fun and acceptable to fantasize about wealth and fame. Having money seems like a great way to assure yourself of security in life, and fame looks to yield those results too.

Now if you haven’t had the pleasure of reading tabloids or gossip magazines, guess what many of the people who experience ridiculous amounts of fame struggle with? Relationships and health. The ones who have worked hard on themselves and their full skillset don’t see these issues, but those who limp along, then hit a spot of luck with whatever talent they have aren’t truly ready for the incredible pressure that money and fame put on an individual.

As the Notorious B.I.G. would say, mo money, mo problems.

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So how do you combat that problems of mediocrity and overexposure? It’s simple really, you recognize what your life purpose is and go for that. However much or little time you can dedicate to it, you put that full effort into your day and over time you will find that you are investing your energy into healthy relationships too, because you are naturally happier.

But that’s not it, that’s where we run into the problem of rookie rockstars.

It’s not just as simple as following your life purpose. The kicker is that you have to find a way to build and maintain intimate relationships too.

This video by Robert Waldinger is a pretty solid summary of what I’m referring to.

As a creative type, you will struggle with self-doubt and you will experience people who don’t believe in or undervalue what you are making, but loneliness can be even more toxic then the problems of addictive behaviour. What I mean by this is that you can definitely be in a toxic relationship and feel alone all the same, and avoiding people just because they don’t “get it” won’t help either.

You need to believe in what you are creating, and protect it, but never shield everything for the sake of your craft. As the saying goes, don’t cut off your nose to spite the face.

This balancing act is definitely more challenging, but it is so worth it when you can look back even one year and say to yourself, I am loved and I accomplished this!

What do you think? Is this just a theory? Or is it a theory with some salt? Until next time my friends.

Tim!

Living With Less (Becoming A Minimalist)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Remember that “2nd ever” timotheories interview I did with Andrew Wedman a while back?

Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about Andrew’s outlook on life and business. His attitude is pretty straightforward – do more with less. As we make our way through this stressful season, it occurs to me that a lot of my normal stress revolves around managing the stuff in my life VS the people in my life VS the pursuits of my life. Christmas just escalates it.

Each of these areas can be managed, thus today’s post is in dedication of the pursuit of purity!

We are all faced with the challenge of whether to pursue more material and social wealth than we currently have. The challenge isn’t openly shared, as this topic isn’t the right type of macabre for most and the simplest truths are often the most difficult to see. Simply put, if we made this widely known, retailers and publications would be bad at their jobs.

People only really learn when they are ready to. I can say this confidently from personal experience.

As Art Buchwald once said,

The best things in life are not things.

Or to put it more bluntly, Tyler Durden said,

We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.

Let me elaborate.

I was fortunate to grow up with the environment and opportunities I did. We all choose to either blame others or our situation for our stock in life OR we accept our beginnings and work to change what is possible, accepting responsibility for our own life.

For instance, I learned some interesting things when I was growing up. Because my parents determined that one of them should stay at home during the day while my sister, two brothers and I all made our way through primary education, I learned that there was a difference between material wants and basic needs of life. This was because while my parents owned their home outright, and we had enough to cover food, utilities and school costs, there wasn’t a lot of money in the bank for extras.

That didn’t mean I missed out on simple pleasures, but I simply had a stronger appreciation of them when I did have sweets and toys. Now what I didn’t immediately realize as a youth, but figured out years later was that it may well have hurt my pride and felt embarrassing when we couldn’t afford to go on trips or we didn’t have a collection of stuff to entertain ourselves with and had to interact with those who did (and judged), but there is an incredible burden that comes with having too many objects in your life.

I learned this by the process of moving away when I was 23. I first moved from home with my family of 6 to 1 bedroom apartment with my girlfriend at the time, then moving into a larger 3 bedroom a couple of years later with my girlfriend and sister, then having more room after my sister moved out.

Where the lesson came in was when I lost my job, and decided to move back home.

I had a lot of stuff at that point. A whole house of stuff. While my sister and one brother didn’t live there any more, moving home with enough stuff to fill a 15′ x 25′ room was tough. And that was after I got rid of a dining table, a living room suite, a bedroom suite, lots of old art, and countless trinkets.

Sharing space with people while having personal objects to watch out for is problematic. You’ve invested money into those possessions and you have to protect your investment, but who really has time to enjoy and manage 1000s of objects, no matter what they are?

It becomes a burden.

This is why it is important to define your space and dedicate your efforts to a specific area of life. As soon as you do this, you realize what is important to you, and having hot topic technology or whatever doesn’t pull at you as easily.

Heck, I collect movies, music, and books, and people sometimes question my collection. That’s a good thing. No one in their right mind should collect as much of that stuff as I do. I do it because I need to to accomplish my goals. The truth is this, of course I cannot possibly look at all of these things simultaneously or even regularly, but I’ve set up my space so that those objects serve as a directory of ideas and reference for my art. Because those objects fuel my life purpose they provide value for me. But if I started collecting trinkets, kitchenware, clothes and sports equipment (for example), then I would lose my focus.

Check out this article from the blog Becoming Minimalist for more information on the concept.

Thus end’s today’s post on managing objects. Do you think you too much stuff? Is your stuff preventing you from making your art? Leave some comments and let me know what you think of this theory.

Tim!

 

 

Wizards & Wisdom (Actualized)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Okay folks, let’s talk turkey. It’s Wednesday and that means I need to share some wisdom with you.

Wisdom about self-improvement.  Big topic, I know, and one which I can probably spend a countless number of posts on in the future. *Hint* I’m going to *hint*

Oh come on now, you know I can’t keep secrets from you guys and gals.

That’s right, you must have sensed that I would dedicate today to share a resource (and set up future resources) with you that cover specific skills and traits that can be worked on. The kind of pragmatic stuff we need to level up and become the best versions that we want to be and should be.

That stuff related to physical health, mental health, emotional health, and spiritual health.

The stuff we all quietly promises ourselves we will get to but often struggle with the time or simply figuring out where to start looking.

But before I begin the fabulous and (hopefully by now) familiar practice of sharing a resource, I’m going to share a theory with you. Unfortunately it is not my own, so I can’t take any credit for it, however, it’s too brilliant not to share, so I’m going to source it and we’ll go from there.

The person who came up with this thought on the matter was writing about wisdom as it exists in the Dungeons & Dragons universe, specifically the 5th edition, but let’s face it, it’s damn useful for pretty much anyone.

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So here is what Kindulas of reddit has to say about wisdom –

First off, the 5e description is “Wisdom reflects how attuned you are to the world around you and represents perceptiveness and intuition.” …The big thing I realized while thinking of Wisdom vs Intelligence as worldly vs academic knowledge is that animals have high wisdom. Low intelligence, high wisdom. Animals do not have streetsmarts or worldly knowledge, they don’t actually know the kinds of things wisdom is sometimes explained to cover. So I began, instead, to think of Wisdom as all the intelligences animals do exemplify. Perceptiveness and intuition – instinct and purely sensory awareness and alertness. We know Wisdom has to do more than just physical senses because insight, but that’s the place to start pondering.

So I came to the conclusion, especially seeing how 5e handled Intelligence (Investigation). Intelligence is all higher cognitive thinking and all conscious knowledge. Worldly knowledge, booksmarts, all just different expressions of intelligence. Wisdom is subconcious intelligence and sensory awareness. It’s your ability to spot things offhand, your clarity of thought and presence of mind, the accuracy of those “feelings” you get about people.

Now if we are really interested in wisdom in all it’s forms and variations then that sounds pretty dang good doesn’t it?

Well look no further, I’m going to share a ridiculously rad resource I totally and randomly stumbled onto when I was taking my lunch break about a week ago and when I was thinking about toxic behaviour of all things. And yes, I’ll share the first video I watched to give you a potential jumping off point, and if you are interested in letting go of what others think about you.

Actualized.org is a website dedicated to advanced personal development. Leo Gura is the founder and face of this project and has accomplished some rather impressive things in his life thus far. This claim to fame is that he teaches you life lessons which roll up into a skillset. A skillset that let’s you take advantage of your full potential and realize it so that you are consistent in your output.

The topics he covers include happiness, motivation, productivity, money, emotions, confidence, enlightenment & meditation, health & fitness, dating & relationships, sex, depression, life skills, and an assortment of other areas of life.

He has over 80 hours worth of free videos but some of his most popular videos are titled as such –

  1. How To Make A Girl Squirt – Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm
  2. How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You
  3. How To Meditate – The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation
  4. How To Become A Millionaire – The Truth No One Tells You
  5. Why Am I Depressed? – The Shocking Truth Behind Your Depression

What is great about timotheories.com is that I am sharing with you stuff that I read, stuff that I watch, stuff that I try, and because of this, all of these posts feature content which is met with trial by fire, trial by combat, or whatever your favourite method of filtering is and won out.

If you want to face your personal challenges head on, you should check out what Leo has to say. Now having put that down, I have not signed up or paid for his “Ultimate Life Purpose Course,” but I am considering it a viable option to focus my own efforts. And besides, the free content alone is enough to make use of.

Why not spend some time building up that wisdom? Otherwise this is just a theory until you can prove it otherwise. See you tomorrow with something timely.

Tim!