Basic Training (Communication Basics)

Here at timotheories I believe it’s important to provide you dear readers with a depth and breadth to my content which is fairly uncommon in many blogs of the day.

I write about the arts (music, film, events), share global wisdom and learnings I’ve uncovered on how to maintain and flourish as a creative professional, and build lots of stimulating content about the value of art, often focusing on the medias of movies, table top gaming, and interviews with salt of the earth artists. I follow a monthly schedule to ensure I release a lot of quality content: written and video.

One of the reasons I do this because I believe that good communication is one of the key skills you need in life. Another of the reasons I have this workflow down pat is because good teachers and leaders practice what they preach.

#sobasic

So many of the lessons I share are cyclical,  the kind of stuff you’ll hear over and over in your life and which you really need to learn, those things you run away from until you finally own up to your obstacles and face them head on. It’s one of those theories that is so compelling when life is going great, but difficult to accept when you’ve just been handed a shit sandwich after life pummeled you and then ran over your dog.

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

Pema Chodron

I found this quote from Pema Chodron, an American Tibetan and practising Buddhist. One who happens to be both an ordained nun and acharya. In case you’re wondering what an acharya is, it’s someone who is a senior instructor in religious matters. They teach the next generation of monks and nuns, and are generally expected to stay put, rather than wander the earth as so many Buddhist monks do.

Communication is at the root of us facing our fears in life creative cuties. As soon as you recognize that other people aren’t actively trying to limit your actions, but rather further their own lives (just as you do), it becomes way easier to recognize that the EST models of life are a real thing – exist, survive OR thrive.

As I mentioned in my first post on communication, there are seven aspects of communication to consider and make crucial in your life – clear, concise, concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous. I’m not going to spend the rest of this post outlining how those aspects all work and what to do with them, though I can see that becoming a future series down the road, if I get enough interest from you fine folks…

Instead I want to go over the basics of communication.

All About That Base

I found this really cool chart from Psychology Today which demonstrates how communication works. I’m not sure if they made the chart themselves or got it from somewhere else, but kudos to whoever came up with this diagram. It’s on point.

You see friends, communication can happens with multiple people simultaneously, but more importantly it is always a process that happens between a sender and a receiver. I could be delivering a presentation to a group of fifty people, but no matter how many people I present to, I am conducting individual communications with each party in the room.

So while nineteen people could understand the message I am relaying about marketing, one person might shut down as soon as I mention how we need to use more third party services as an annual media mix. This is because as the sender I have a responsibility to consider how I encode my message for the receiver and to be sure I truly understand the subject matter I’m speaking to. If I have complicated thoughts and feelings about the topic, I may not explain myself well, and so the listener is more likely to miss the message.

Now from the perspective of the receiver, a few things could happen which led to the misunderstanding. They could have not really been listening to the message for one, and for two, they might not have the comprehension skills needed to decode the message, but refuse to acknowledge their limitations. Which is a whole other loaded challenge of its own. And third, by adding a separate meaning to the message from what was intended. i.e. the person might think I’m suggesting incompetence in them and by stating we should hire more third party groups, I am affirming to the receiver that I want another company to support the workload because they are more talented.

theories Summarized

All that said, communication is most definitely something we can all learn to do better, and while it is a two way street, as you become more competent you’ll succeed more,. That means choosing your words and expressions more carefully, as well as being aware of your shortcomings in communication AND asking others to explain back to you what you’ve shared. Then you can expect to have better results getting help with editing your videos, distributing your brand new EP, or booking that photography shoot with the paint night lady.

It might not be a basic instinct, but communication really is key to success in the arts, and business in general. Just a theory I have.

Tim!

Death From A Thousand Papercuts (Self-help Books)

Self-help guides are everywhere. You cannot move within 30 links on the internet without hitting one. On top of that, there are over 240,000 self-help books available for purchase on Amazon. And I’m sure that many of them are fantastic, well-reviewed and considered best sellers.

But the thing is, none of these books are really essential reading. Almost all of them have the same ideas to express to you. You can summarize most of these ideas pretty easily and rather quickly if I’m going to be frank with you, dear readers. I read this great article a couple of years back and decided to summarize it’s summary of this idea for you. So which is greater the summary of self-help books or the summary of the summary of self-help books?

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I guess you’ll find out pretty quick won’t you?

12 Lessons From Self-help Books

No martter what the topic, there are commonalities for all tips of self-help and this list of 12 points should do the trick in laying it all out for you, the ever efficient consumer of information.

  1. You are in control of your emotions and can change how you feel. No one else can do it for you.
  2. Mirror successful people. If you follow the habits of the leader, you will adopt them and transcend your current lifestyle.
  3. The law of attraction is real. You bring into your life what you spend your time thinking about. So think on good things OR use affirmations to get you there
  4. Be present and avoid thinking about the past or future. With presence you stop worry and avoid anxiety.
  5. Leave your comfort zone. You need to evolve and grow through discomfort.
  6. Procrastination is bad – Have goals and to-do lists, work on what matters to get what you want.
  7. Accountability for your actions. Own the things you can influence and work to enforce them when good OR change them when bad.
  8. Value your unique qualities. Never compare yourself to others, instead compare your past self to who you are now.
  9. Treat yourself. Have fun, enjoy things you care about. Life experience is important.
  10. Have gratitude. Life is full of problems, but you turn them into opportunities.
  11. Positive self-talk. I can do this. Tell yourself that every time you have doubt.
  12. Visualize what you want. Visualization is a commonly recommended technique with positive self-talk. It is becoming increasingly popular in therapy as psychologists use imagery to not only work through problems, but change behavior. The basic aim is to see in your mind what you want. Advanced visualization incorporates sight with taste, smell, touch, and sound of having achieved your goal.

Should You Read Self-help Books?

With all of that said, you’re probably wondering if you should even read self-help books now. Well friends, I’ll be the first to admit that as I get older, my memory doesn’t seem to be improving, and in some cases, like for instance if I don’t get enough sleep, I definitely don’t remember things that I should.

So you know what they say right? Well no, no you don’t.

Seriously? I just made that point above and you’ve already forgotten it?

The point is this, motivation is temporary but discipline helps us with ingraining new ideas into our being, if you follow a pattern for more then 30 days it begins to take root and turn into a habit, but 90 days its your primary mode of function.

Even once you know the summary of all of these great books, it doesn’t mean you have the practice down to a science. And let’s be honest, the reason why the knowledge is so frequently referenced is because it is pretty useful for anyone really. After all, just because you read a summary, it doesn’t mean you had a moment of enlightenment, sitting with an idea helps in that process. But that’s just a theory.

 

Tim!

 

 

The Truth Is Out There (Neil Strauss)

So how many of you remember when I wrote that post a couple of months back about one of my personal goals for the year? Nope, not the one about my movie watching goals (The Watch List), and also not the one about my music reacquiring goals (The Back Catalogue). Want a hint?

It has something to do with reading. Reading via that dying form of book learning.

It’s a tough one to accomplish for sure, in a world where working 40+ hours a week is the norm, exercise, food, and sleep are required, and social relationships must exist in order to be a contributing member of society proper, where does an artist fit in time for absorbing artistic endeavours in tactile paper and ink objects AND find time to produce his own work? Well, obvs you have to have a schedule and a game plan.

Which is what I came up with. I wonder if you know what I’m eluding to just yet.

I’ll share a snippet from the post I have in mind to give you a reference point –

Buying a new album and film every week is a start, and participating in social media to build an empire is a good for discipline, but I’ve always found that reading is the best way to spark ideas. Which is why I’ve decided to start The Reading List. It’s ambitious for sure, but it’s the only way I know how to flesh out a process, by dreaming big and digging in.

My goal for the rest of the year, and then for the rest of my life as I know it, is to read one book a month in a packet of categories. I’m going to start slow though.

I will read one book a month from the 5 groupings below, slowly expanding the number of books read so that I reach the point of 5 books a month. A book for each group:

  1. LIFE – Biographies/Art/Music
  2. LOVE – Classic Fiction/Non-Fiction/Graphic Novels
  3. LEARN – Business/Leadership/Self-Help
  4. LABEL – Philosophy/Sociology/Psychology
  5. LEET -The Internet

If I can get to the point where I read a book from each topic a month, I’ll be flying pretty high. You see, dear readers, if I can embrace the 5 L’s of LANGUAGE (my own idea), then I can contribute proper to your own education and personal growth in the age of the Internet – Hence the LEET grouping.

The great thing about having a reading list is that it continuously reminds me that I should be consuming books, not because they make me smarter, but because I should be participating in culture and sharing what I learn back with you, my dear sweet readers.

The Truth About Neil Strauss

This month I decided to reach out into the LEARN section of my 5 L’s of Language and look at a book by one Neil Strauss. The book I decided to read is called The Truth, An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships. If you have been around for the past ten years, you’ll probably recognize his breakout bestseller The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

Now before I receive a bunch of boo/hiss comments, because as much as I don’t want to get into apologetics for pick-up artists, I’d rather do that defending thing and say that Neil Strauss is something of a pioneer in my opinion, then have you shut er down “just because”.

Bold talk timotheories, but go on.

He saw how social cues and dating etiquette was evolving in the early 2000s and because he had never had a serious relationship, he was sick of living in a victim mentality, and he went out and learned some skills to better himself and gain confidence.

We’d all be incredibly naive if we didn’t think that sex, attraction, dating and relationships didn’t have something to do with skillfulness and ability. Just like literally everything else in life.

So many of us expect romance and love to just happen for us, but we have to gain emotional intelligence and sexual prowess if we want to find that person (or persons) that compliment us appropriately and with who we also compliment.

The Truth is a book about Strauss’ realization that while he had learned how to seduce women and how to better understand what women wanted from a sexual partner, what he didn’t learn was that in order to have romance, and then healthy commitment, we have to understand our upbringing and the challenges we carried with us into adulthood. Otherwise we have half the necessary skill-set to be a functioning sexual being. Yes, the book explores themes that demonstrate how some people can live a single life, others can get polyamorous, and most of us go monogamous, but it’s our individual responsibility to figure out for ourselves what defines our intimate nature and then mature into a healthy adult.

This book taught me, that no matter what kind of sexual identity I take on, my personal happiness is still my responsibility. Whatever physical or mental imperfections I am faced with, I choose to be defined by them OR to work with and through them, especially at a pace that is manageable.

And that’s a heavy topic for an artist to tackle, whether you’re a writer like Strauss, a musician, an actor or a visual artist.

I highly recommend this one. Give it a shot, you’ll likely learn something about yourself.

Tim!

How To Stay On Topic AND Be Topical (The Reading List)

Reading is cathartic, sharpens your mind, and expands your world. How it manages to do all of this is kind of amazing, but I’ve written about that before (see here, here, and here for recent examples), and it’s not really what this timely Thursday post is really about.

This entry is about another of my lifestyle goals as a cultivator of the arts.

You see friends, I’ve always been a lover of knowledge. Every personality test I’ve taken, every mentor I’ve had, and many of the compliments I have been given by generous humanly have usualy revolved around my intellect. I’ve spent thousands of hours of my life in thought and in the written word, so it kinda makes sense.

It’s a great comfort to me to read and I believe it is where a lot of my natural creativity lies. I’m very thankful for this gift and I intend to continue to use it to great effect. But I’ll be the first to admit, that creativity often comes from places other than self. Sure you can carry a creative idea through to it’s logical conclusion and exhaust it by repetition and personal exploration, but even more new ideas form through experience of the world.

Which is why I need to keep reading regularly, and read new things. As an artist, a curator of art and a practitioner of artist development, it’s my pleasure to share ideas with you dear readers. That means I need to find ideas in order to share them.

Buying a new album and film every week is a start, and participating in social media to build an empire is a good for discipline, but but I’ve always found that reading is the best way to spark ideas. Which is why I’ve decided to start The Reading List. It’s ambitious for sure, but it’s the only way I know how to flesh out a process, by dreaming big and digging in.

My goal for the rest of the year, and then for the rest of my life as I know it, is to read one book a month in a packet of categories. I’m going to start slow though.

To elaborate, I’ve grouped genres and topics, but will slowly expand outward until I am consuming at least 5 kinds of books a month. I already mentioned meta-reading, where I read a book, that I will also be writing about and how it relates to the act of reading, my relationship to the author I’m reading, and how my opinion of them and the work changes over time. I’m following this challenge concurrently with The Reading List to share some insights into the reading process and what I’ve learned from some wonderful authors.

And I’ve started with Ernest Hemingway. So let’s break down my crazy library sized idea for reading, and explore the possibilities and how it will benefit you, the readers of this blog.

I will read one book a month from the 5 groupings below, slowly expanding the number of books read so that I reach the point of 5 books a month. A book for each group:

  1. LIFE – Biographies/Art/Music
  2. LOVE – Classic Fiction/Non-Fiction/Graphic Novels
  3. LEARN – Business/Leadership/Self-Help
  4. LABEL – Philosophy/Sociology/Psychology
  5. LEET -The Internet

If I can get to the point where I read a book from each topic a month, I’ll be flying pretty high. You see, dear readers, if I can embrace the 5 L’s of LANGUAGE (my own idea), then I can contribute proper to your own education and personal growth in the age of the Internet – Hence the LEET grouping.

I think it’s a pretty neat way to keep myself accountable. But what do you think? I’m out of theories for the week, so share the post and leave me some feedback. Facebook and Twitter are most appreciated.

Tim!

This Is Your Brain On Words (Quotes To Inspire Creativity)

This might seem like a bit of surprise, but I have not always enjoyed the writing process.

fresh-prince-of-bel-air-will

And I don’t think I’m alone in this attitude. Much like any “seemingly” basic skill, writing takes some time to learn, and a lifetime to master. Because of that hard truth about writing, from a young age I always felt pressured into the writing process and moreover, that I didn’t have the characteristics to make my ideas and literary voice heard. So I did what I would do with social situations, I would borrow ideas and quotes from other established works.

This of course changed after I got accepted into university and had the opportunity to expand my library of literary options.

It got more difficult!

I thought that maybe I wasn’t mature yet or life experiences hadn’t happened enough for me so I didn’t have a way of articulating detailed stories proper. But as I explored my own identity I began to realize that creativity doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and for me, I enjoyed pulling from different sources to build an idea out. Also hard won personal experiences with writing under pressure over and over again helped relieve some of the stress.

Which is a pretty cool thing, if you were to ask me. But I guess you are asking me, seeing as how you are at timotheories right now, reading about my ideas. Fortunately I do have a formal education in the arts so it’s not like I’m Joe Blow from Timbuktu writing about my snail collection.

I’m an expert in the arts and on this journey with you.

Which is why I decided that today I want to share some word wisdom with you, and in anticipation of a little old project I am about to undertake(read: new project. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll share that project with you on a later date. For now, let’s start with that sweet sweet wisdom dear readers.

I’ve written about the power of reading at least once before, but have I discussed the power of words themselves? No I didn’t think so either. Sometimes we get so caught up in our routines (which are helpful) that we forget to spend time enjoying life and *gasp*, procrastinating simply to be immersed in culture.

Matt-LeBlanc-Gasp

But seriously… Sound familiar? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Personally I’ve found that reading exercises my brain and that taking quotes from literature can help cement new ideas or creative directions I want to take – So today I’m going to share with you, in no particular order, some of my favourite quotes from film and literature, as infographics. And after you’ve gone through the list, I want you to think about how you feel. But for now, let’s take a scroll.

 

 

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4630fa22ebc4f95d679fde53cf60648db44c5d59f7c75f94f683a47c3a6c812f811a8c296c57ce68cec0bd1764b3e6cd8dfe92ffc40727f6d88387da258fd0a64be5f546399c33d7f8e8bf10d1b011d304-Herbert555195_1286482321349_full5798-but-it-aint-about-how-hard-ya-hit-its-about-how-hard13m5wfQuotefancy-4091-3840x2160

life-moves-pretty-fast ebb2b831a7a7e336c100e911805e2b2c 977e468b997cdd6a412e4c1ab36bb05af1b13934db5ab5ce4008e2a6a2e498325dedf2031071319794c468c9f5674d39e1f27c0ad7f943596b2323e68a4bdb44463c7dae129e9d9c6fc9bd162807e513c1de8dfeee0bdfdbe0b84edc55e7f3f29e208a258510cac84ca520cf222cb8c5

 

Bet you are feeling pretty good right now? And some of those quotations are tied into your own experiences. You see, dear readers, I have this theory that word association has the incredible power to motivate, but only to motivate. It doesn’t provide discipline, like at all. But that is not what it was meant for.

You need to balance short term pains (emotions) against long term gains (skill). It’s just how it is. So why not spend some time building a Pinterest board or vision board or whatever to give yourself some instant emotional gratification? And most of those quotes are useful advice anyway, and there have been studies done that indicate human beings can only learn a few new things at a time.

So put your ideas up somewhere digital or real; bathroom and bedroom walls can do the trick. And revisit those quotes regularly, that way you can slowly absorb the knowledge you need, to increase your knowledge, skill, and discipline to create.

While, I’m out of theories and wisdom for the day friends, so I’ll see you tomorrow with something timely!

Tim!