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Thank You For Not Smoking (The Chainsmokers, Memories… Do Not Open review)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Maybe I’m just getting old now, and so I’m more impatient when it comes to my musical choices… But there is probably a reason I don’t go deep diving for nostalgia. It usually leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I’d rather see the person or place as they are now.

Oh well, time to review a formula that works. Against artMan do.

 

The Chainsmokers – Memories… Do Not Open
released April 7, 2017
**** 4/10

The Chainsmokers are an American duo of DJ and producer that have previously focused on EDM and now make pop music. Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall first broke out in 2014 with the smash single #Selfie, which blew up on charts all over the world.

In late 2015 they released their first EP, Bouquet, which featured single Roses, which is definitely more of a slow burner. Late last year they put forth a follow up EP called Collage, and it had even more singles that built up some steam for duo, but relied less and less on their instrumentation – Closer, Don’t Let Me Down, and All We Know.

Memories… Do Not Open is a vast departure from the EDM machine that has produced so many club worthy singles in the past couple of years. For instance, Andrew Taggart sings on a number of these tracks, and it’s pretty meh #TBH. Now I don’t want you to completely misunderstand, and think I hate The Chainsmokers. After all, there are some catchy hooks through this album, and I enjoy the occasional drift away from auto-tune and foray into more classical forms of melody, but there isn’t a lot of meat to these tracks. Take the ho-hum jam that is Break Up Every Night; it features a ridiculous lyric in the statement “She wants to break up every night, then tries to fuck me back to life. How can I help it if I like the way she makes me feel it?”,  not exactly the lyrics that dreams are made of.

Gone are the days of fun and satire, replaced by two guys who want to be taken seriously as artists, but yet never do anything to demonstrate hard work has been put in to accomplish their goals.

I think the best parts of the album are when Emily Warren and Coldplay feature in on Don’t Say and Something Just Like This, respectively. But I could get my fix of those two artists on their own albums, so it’s not redemptive by any means. What bothers me though is that billions of people have listened to this and enjoyed it. Narcissism seems to have found a new voice in Taggart and Pall.

I have to wonder if we are entering a new era of vapid and self-congratulatory music, because the oozy quality of supermodel women in their videos, their fuckboy next door charm, instagram filtering everything, and blocking fonts seem to represent the casual “intelligence without wisdom” tone of this decade.

This is the kind of pop music we deserve with world leaders like Donald Trump in power. It kind of makes me want to take up chainsmoking, and that’s not a good thing.

theories Summarized

 

So I totally wasn’t expecting that review to come out of my fingertips, if I’m being honest. I thought I was going to have more nice things to say, and that I’d focus on the upbeat melodies and soulful lyrics, but this is not good music, it reflective of a lot of people’s personas in the moment, shuffling along, on autopilot, hoping that the next six months pass already, becoming bad memories.

Tim!

10 Tips For A Good Time (Concert Etiquette)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

As is the fashion with Timely Thursdays, dear readers, today is going to be a shorter post.

This might be a little selfish on my part, but the reason I’m doing this is because I’m watching The Offspring and guests perform live at The Shaw Conference Centre this evening. In fact, while you are reading this post, and through the power of mobile phone technology, I am already at the building and in line buying my merchandise.

You see, I’ve loved The Offspring for many, many years, and their music is the kind of music which I can really appreciate – it has a combination of satire and sincerity, something which I’m sure we can all agree is difficult to pull off, whether in music or other art forms.

If you want a little back story on the lead up to tonight’s events, I’ve got the link right here for you.

And so today I wanted to write about what it’s like to go to a concert, for those who don’t attend them regularly or maybe don’t know realize what you can do at a concert.

I’ve come up with a short list of things you can do to ensure you see you favourite musical acts for a reasonable price AND have a good time.

  1. Signing up for online newsletters and Facebook pages of bands and local venues gets you mobile updates on concert dates and related info.
  2. Encourage friends to come along and buy from reliable sources (the venue, the band or an authorized ticket website). It’s safer and more fun.
  3. Select a method of delivery that makes sense (etickets, will call, hard copies) and avoid auctions to avoid fake tickets and high prices.
  4. Plan ahead – Check the weather forecast. Get a good nights sleep the night before. Organize your departure time with your friends to save gas, avoid traffic, and find parking.
  5. Only bring the appropriate supplies (tickets, ID, money, phone) and dress for the occasion (warm if outside, light if inside)
  6. Expect to be checked by security. Smaller bags are better for the process (and lighter over the course of the night) and no outside food or drinks. You’ll be asked to throw them away anyway.
  7. Exceptions – some bands prohibit phones (pictures), and smoking is usually prohibited. Observe the rules and listen to the security and staff on hand.
  8. Show up early if you want to buy merchandise and/or see the opening acts. This gives you the most options of merchandise too, buying late in the night probably won’t work, and the booths make close before the show ends.
  9. Enjoy the show, but understand your exit strategy. Some people leave early to avoid the crowds at the end of the night. It’s better to plan ahead and see it all IMHO.
  10. Finally, proceed from the venue carefully and consciously. Depending where you are the local police and security may have adjusted the traffic patterns.

And that’s all the theories I’ve got tonight friends! I’m gonna put my earplugs in, but I’ll catch you in a couple of days, with something rather stimulating.

Tim!

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Work Smarter (Life Hacks)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Another week! Another Wednesday! Another opportunity to share some wisdom with you dear readers! Today’s topic – how YOU can make art and also balance the other areas of your life simultaneously!

Think about it for a minute, what’s the most fascinating subject in this life to dedicate years of your life studying? The answer is none other than yourself, dear reader(s)!

I know it sounds selfish, but is there really a better use of your time then working on yourself? Let’s be serious, we all do need to ask the question – what’s in it for me? If you can’t answer that, you can’t begin to contribute in this world.

Okay, with that aside, I don’t truly have a life-changing list of top 10 ways to improve yourself, make life easier and get your art out there (it’s a lifelong commitment), but I definitely do have a resource to get you started and at the very least start working on basic areas of your life that are universal and can be refined to your specific purpose.

Lists or no, I honestly think the reasons are innumerable for why you should streamline your internal process, so timotheories came up with a curated strategy of things we all need to work on in order get our rear in gear, and remove that fear!

First lets get in the right mindset.

You can’t outsource being CEO of your own life.

– Leo Gura, Actualized.org

No one knows your life purpose better than you, and no one is going to hold you up and guide you directly towards your goals, but if you focus on these habits below, you’ll realize that life becomes just a bit easier, and you have more energy for the things important to you.

I visited a number of sources in order to come up with this list – from Inc., to Readers Digest, WikiHow, Buzzfeed, a blog called BufferSocial, Time, and finally Life Hack.

So what did I determine from the swath of tips?

 

Here are my top 10 skills to invest in, in no particular order.
  1. Time management – Improve your time management skills by looking at your results regularly to see if you are on track or wasting time – Set up your calendar and having dedicated concentration time on specific tasks. Through time management systems, and recognizing that there is a difference between being quick versus in a hurry, you’ll improve here for sure.
  2. Learning to love learning – You need to learn new things in order to keep up with the fast pace of digital tech. That means using keyboard shortcuts, improving your typing speed, and your reading speed, for starters. If you can figure out MACROS on your spreadsheets you’ll be surprised how much automation you can get out of menial tasks.
  3. Communication is key – In a time when texting, email, and social media are the new favourites, try to use the phone more often. It saves on countless back and forth. And speaking of back and forth, be concise in your emails. Respond to calls and emails as quickly as you can, and when you can’t do that, set up a regular time to respond to your contacts.
  4. Multi-task misery – Learn to multi-task the right way, by cutting it out of your life. If you keep a million tabs open on your browser, you’re gonna have a bad time. Please remove distractions while you work and spend time with others. Turn off your phone, close your tablet, and focus on the task at hand.
  5. To-Do list – The ever popular to-do list is perfect for organizing your day into bite-size chunks. Make a daily one to automate certain processes, and really focus on the unique difficult tasks first. As the saying goes, eat that frog. If you want even more reinforcements, create a “to-don’t” list, of things you’ll never do, and stick to it!
  6. Attitude is everything – Expect failure and fight paranoia in life – Failure is common when you are exploring. But not failing is never okay. Keep positive and realize it won’t always be this bad, but it won’t stay easy either. If you ask lots of questions, aren’t afraid to do menial work, and spend 10 minutes a day laughing out loud, when Sunday night appears, you’ll be excited for Monday.
  7. Evaluate life – Make major decisions in the morning and divvy up your day based on your productivity habits. Assess your passions at the end of each year, each month, each week, and before you go to bed. If you can do that you’ll focus and delegate out the unnecessary. Flexibility is important too, but if you get stuck try this – pretend you are away from work and/or home for a week, and you only have a few hours to accomplish your tasks.
  8. Plan to make plans – Plan regularly! Build routines to start your day AND end your day. You are going to have to organize throughout the day too, so make an outline to insure you aren’t starting from scratch over and over. Please also set deadlines for major projects by planning ahead. You’ll benefit from organizing your desk/workspace, minutes saves hours, believe me.
  9. Community of colleagues  – Please be social at work, so that you have a support base and network to lean on in your endeavours, and don’t be afraid to say no to anyone. If you can learn to do that AND under-promise while over-delivering, you’ll definitely find the time to finesse your brand pitch about you and gain some fans in the process.
  10. Health matters – Your greatest resource is you. So build good habits to help you stop working and walk away after a certain point. Working smart doesn’t mean you also work hard. Health is important and managing stress, anxiety and depression are part of it. Try a standing desk for posture and circulation, get up every 45 minutes and move around too. Finally, pick a “Sabbath” day to refresh your soul, body, and mind.

 

So there you have it, I took all of the most brilliant advice on life hacks, and summarized it even further. No easy task, but worthwhile!

And that’s all the theories I’ve got for today! Are any of you already doing some of these things? All of them? Leave questions or comments, or send me an email! Subscribe if you liked this post and want to see more.

Otherwise, come back tomorrow for some love tips or something mushy related to it, at the very least.

Tim!

Is Netflix Controlling Your Destiny? (Cross Talk Ep.1)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!

It’s here, it’s finally here! I’ve been promising something new and different for weeks now, but it’s finally here! You asked for more theories, straight from Tim himself, and I am giving you exactly what you have asked for.

This new format is going to be something special for sure.

You know how you go to your computer and you turn it on, and then you realize that not only are there files in there, but there is also a network of people and information which is at your fingertips?*

*Provided you have a home which you own, are paying off, or which you rent from a land lord. Plus a valid internet connection which you need to acquire from an internet service provider. Oh and also electricity which comes from a utilities provider.

Well, just for you dear readers, I’ve decided to put together a new monthly video series called Cross Talk with my very good friend Chris Murphy.

It’s clever you see, because we sit across from each other and talk about interesting topics related to the arts.

But who the heck is this Chris guy, and how come he is special enough to get a monthly series with you Tim?

Well, I’ve known Chris for almost 8 years and in that time I have learned a few things about him. First, he is just as invested in film, literature, and community as I am, but he is also doing it with a little more gusto. And second, he has a little bit of wisdom on me, which is always needed for the timotheories brand.

So I recruited him into the timotheories fold.

Chris is charming, challenging, and captivating to witness in action, so you are assured of a treat when you carry on a conversation with him. YouTube will probably only emulate his gusto at 60% power, so be prepared for a whirlwind of discussion, all from the comfort of home – well A home. It’s not your home we filmed this episode in, but to you local fans out there, there is always the future.

But what the heck are you going to talk about on your channel with Chris a minimum of 1x a month timotheories?

Good question, you sharp young readers! It’s all about the balance of barroom philosophy and pop culture discussion on a couch. We’ll frame our discussions around the topic of film and do this while attempting to actively avoid the typical things that experts do when they talk about film. We aren’t here to review, and we don’t really want to list off our top 10’s, but we’ll be incredibly excited to go over the under appreciated films and shower thoughts you may have had, but didn’t mull over too much.

First up is the topic of – How movie reviews and popular opinion influence your viewing habits.

I’ve included a direct link to the video for you here, but in case you don’t want to navigate away from us, here it is below too!

But that’s all the theories I’ve got for today. Whew.

I’m excited to see what you have to say about the first entry, and I hope your Sunday evening is the best one yet! See you tomorrow evening my friends with another Melodic Monday post, this time from an up-and-comer who reached out to me directly. You won’t want to miss it!

Tim!

Monkey Mania (The Gift review)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

I feel compelled to tell the truth dear readers, especially after this weeks film. Seeing a “Certified Fresh” logo on the box art of the blu-ray may have been the clincher that won me over VS watching South Paw or Pixels. That, and I heard a number of bad things about the other two movies.

But that is neither here nor there when it comes down to it. It’s Theatrical Tuesday, and I’ll provide you with a film review, dammit.

 

 

 

The Gift (2015)
Cast: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton
Director: Joel Edgerton
released on blu-ray October 27, 2015
******** 10/10

gift_xxlg

IMDB: 7.2
Rotten Tomatoes: 94%, Audience Score 78%
The Guardian: ****/*****

This is Joel Edgerton’s first feature length film. He has been known for a number of performances over the years (Owen Lars in Star Wars, Gawain in King Arthur, Brendan Conlon in The Thing, and Tom Buchanan in The Great Gatsby, among 60 other roles), but this is Edgerton’s third time producing a film too.

Wait! He directed, helped produce, and acted in this film? Yes. But lots of actors have done that before. Heck, Jon Favreau and Eli Roth act in their own movies ALL THE TIME.

But this is notably Edgerton’s first time directing a full length movie.

Anyway, now that I’ve made my point clear, this one was amazing my friends. I am so glad I picked it up, because it has cemented itself in my top 10 for movies this year, and assuredly in my top 5. I’ll have to get back to you on where it lands at the end of the year though.

So what is this story about?

Simon Callum (Jason Bateman) and his wife Robyn (Rebecca Hall) have recently moved back to Simon’s home-town of Chicago for his career and to work on starting a family. They are visiting a furniture store when Simon is approached by an old acquaintance from high school. Simon struggles with the exchange until the guy introduces himself as Gordon Mosely, or Gordo. This jumpstarts Simon’s memory and they agree to exchange numbers and get together sometime.

Gordo later stops by unannounced with a gift of window cleaner and contact numbers for local services, after having left some wine. Robyn invites him in, gives him a tour, and insists he stay for dinner. The three have some dinner together and Gordo tells a story of Simon’s class presidency. Building up the idea of his slogan “Simon Says” to suggest he gets whatever he wants, which definitely turns Simon off and Robyn somewhat as well.

Simon decides that Gordo shouldn’t visit anymore and leaves a joke on the fridge referring to his HS nickname Gordo the Weirdo. But Gordo continues to leave gifts and stop by during the day, until he happens upon the message on the fridge and leaves in a hurry. The couple are later surprised when he invites them to a dinner at his house.

They drive up to a nice home and are greeted by Gordo, but learn that the other couple have cancelled . The three make some small talk before Gordo is interrupted by an important work call and says he needs to leave to take it. While they are alone Simon and Robyn snoop through the house and Simon continues to make fun of Gordo. They find women’s clothing in the house, contrary to Gordo’s earlier comment that he is single. When Gordo does come back, Simon asks about his work, and Gordo admits he is not working and that he is estranged from his wife and family but staying at her place. Simon asks Robyn to leave and tells Gordo to stop visiting them.

The next day Robyn discovers dead koi fish in their pond (originally a gift from Gordo), and that their dog is missing.

Simon goes back to Gordo’s, and is greeted by a woman he assumes is Gordo’s wife, but we learn he broke into that house. The couple decide to involve the police but Gordo had previously worked for the family he used as a decoy and likely had a key. The cops can only question Gordo without evidence and he’d know the Callums sent them.

Robyn doesn’t handle the tension well. She steals pills from a friend of hers and later faints in the bedroom. Waking up on the bed instead of the floor.

Super spooky right?

I can’t write much more without giving away the twist at the end, but I will confirm that it doesn’t end how you think it might. In fact there is a solid 45 minutes of buildup left in the story before the move ties up lost ends and which will leave you clutching your chest, and possibly sick to your stomach – particularly with monkey masks.

Pros: This one is another slow burner, but considering it’s a shorter movie and the pauses and pacing are intentional, it helps. Jason Bateman has 100% given the performance of his career to date, and I hope he does another serious film. Edgerton’s storytelling ability is amazing, and I WILL watch his next movie.

Cons: However the plot twist turned out (we aren’t sure at the end), what is implied is pretty messed up and would be hard to walk away from, no matter what.

Runtime: 108 minutes

Points of Interest: Joel Edgerton filmed his scenes well in advance of shooting and completed them in less than a week. Gordo gives 10 or 11 gifts throughout the film, depending how you interpret events. There is an alternate ending to the film…

Seriously though, you need to watch this movie. Run, don’t walk to your nearest purchasing method and sit yourself down. You will cringe, you will think, and you will be impressed. This movie is THAT well done.

I don’t have much else to say at this time folks. I hope you have an excellent Tuesday, and if you are able to celebrate Remembrance Day tomorrow, please give it the respect it deserves. I’ll see you for some more theories in the evening.

Tim!