happiness

The Art of Weddings (Weddings)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Yoo hoo. It’s been awhile since I just rapped with you boo. At least a week or two.

Wedding season is upon us.

This is the time of year when true love reigns, people are getting married all over town and breeding like rabbits. Hence, why there are so many damn March and April babies in the world. If you want some math, to prove it, take todays date and subtract three month (human gestation takes nine months), and bingo bango, you land on April.

In case you didn’t know, a wedding is millennia old ritual that consists of a ceremony where two people are are joined in matrimony. Sometimes it’s holy and sometimes its a civil union. Either way it’s legal and for real. What I mean by this is that while wedding traditions and customs are varied all over the world, each one is a commitment made between two people, officiated, and witnessed by at least one over person. When you get into questions of ethnicity, culture, religion and social standing, then the details of how it shakes out, when the ceremony happens, what precedes and follows, all change and make for a unique situation every time.

What never changes is that it is a special occasion between two people, and one which needs to be captured, as a moment in time. Usually vows and rings are exchanged, a dance is shared, and speeches are given. This is where the art often comes in.

Musicians and disc jockey build the ambience, poetry, prayers and speeches need to be written, photographers and videographers take images and video, some designers decorate the space, and others fashion outfits.

All of this just for one day. A seemingly recession-proof industry. Now, I’m not here to tell you whether you should believe in marriage, weddings or any of it, but I do think you should consider what your role as a creative professional is within the spectrum of wedding season, because I know a few people in the industry who absolutely do make money providing the services I listed above. This might be a small consideration, but this post just might give you some ideas of how you could get a piece of the pie yourself.

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This might seem like an obvious post to some, but I’m hoping for you creative cutie, that this was an opportunity to realize you can do it. No matter what you think, you deserve success, you’re willing to reach out and grab it. So grab it and make it happen dear readers. The season is upon us, celebrate good times. Come on!

Tim!

I’ll Be Back, and Arms, and Legs (Arnold, Successful Body Building)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

This is a story in progress.

It’s not finished yet because… well, I’m not dead.

That’s what I said the first time around, when I wrote the that initial entry on one of my personal heroes, Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I have gotten better since December, I’ve slowly but surely increased my capacity for greatness – through writing, reading, disciplined meditation, clean living, and creative pursuits. And especially through exercise.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a great example of someone who goes after what he wants. I’m paraphrasing but here are some examples of things Arnold has said.

I want to be the greatest bodybuilder in the world. Done. And he went through the rungs to get there. Then he decided, I want to be one of the great movie stars of his time. Done. Thank you Arnie for being The Terminator, and all of the other action hero roles you’ve taken on. And also, he decided, I want to be the governor of California… Guess what? Boom. Done.

Arnold demonstrates that with hard work and following key rules, you can have success. As he famously said in his six rules to success speech,

none of these rules work unless you do. Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.

 

 

6 Rules of Success

But what are the six rules of success? Well of course, let me lay them down for you, real simple like.

  1. Trust yourself – Many young people are getting so much advice from their parents and teachers and everyone. But what is most important is that you have to dig deep down, dig deep down and ask yourself, who do you want to be? Not what, but who. Figure out for yourself what makes you happy, no matter how crazy it may sound to other people.
  2. Break the rules – Not the law, but break the rules. It is impossible to be a maverick or a true original if you’re too well behaved and don’t want to break the rules. You have to think outside the box. That’s what I believe. After all, what is the point of being on this earth if all you want to do is be liked by everyone and avoid trouble?
  3. Don’t be afraid to fail – Anything I’ve ever attempted, I was always willing to fail. You can’t always win, but don’t be afraid of making decisions. You can’t be paralyzed by fear of failure or you will never push yourself. You keep pushing because you believe in yourself and in your vision and you know that it is the right thing to do, and success will come. So don’t be afraid to fail.
  4. Don’t Listen to the Naysayers – How many times have you heard that you can’t do this and you can’t do that and it’s never been done before? I love it when someone says that no one has ever done this before, because then when I do it, that means that I’m the first one that has done it. So pay no attention to the people that say it can’t be done. I always listen to myself and say, “Yes, you can.”
  5. Work Your Butt Off – Leave no stone unturned. Mohammed Ali, one of my great heroes, had a great line in the ’70s when he was asked, “How many sit-ups do you do?” He said, “I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it hurts. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts.” That’s what makes you a champion.It’s important to have fun in life, but when you’re out there partying, horsing around, someone out there is working hard. Someone is getting smarter and someone is winning. Just remember that. But if you want to win, there is absolutely no way around hard, hard work. None of these rules work unless you do. Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.
  6. Give Something Back – Whatever path you take in your life, you must always find time to give something back, to your community, your state or to your country. Reaching out and helping people will give you more satisfaction than anything you’ve ever done.

     

But he only developed these rules by standing on the shoulders of his own giants, and let me just say, one of Arnie’s heroes should be yours too. Ever heard of Reg Park? The original italian stallion? Except he was actually British.

The Original Hercules

There have been a number of films representing the greek god Hercules, but the one that caught the attention of a young Schwarzenegger was Hercules and the Conquest of Atlantis (1961), starring Reg Park in his film debut.

Reg Park was an English bodybuilder, businessman and actor. He inspired Schwarzenegger to become a bodybuilder, so if his regimen for beginners can work for Arnold, then it’ll work for us too.

You see dear readers, I’ve been exercising for almost a year straight, alternating between strength and core training (M/W/F) & cardio and meditation (Tu/Th). And while I don’t want to make this post about exercise, because I easily could break down the exercises portion of The Education of a Bodybuilder, instead, I’ll leave this here for those of you so inclined to read it. The writer is on point, and breaks down the exercises of the book really well.

theories Summarized

 

On this wisdom of Wednesday I leave you with something to ponder, what’s stopping you from committing to exercise time? I have this theory that health, wealth, and happiness are within reach creative cuties, but like Arnold says, remember the six rules.

You can do it. I believe in you, for you too are destined for great things.

Tim!

Reflection Injection (Positive Affirmations & Happiness)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

Our days our filled with observations and analysis.

Whether it’s dealing with social hoops of family and friends, the inherent differences between the opposite sex or the tedium of the work week, we have to take in a ton of information and process it rather rapidly, so that we can then move onto the next thing.

As someone who is always thinking about things critically, this can be especially frustrating for me to personally deal with, and I know that we are all victims of our own over-analysis. What we really should be doing, is separating ourselves from our problems and reflecting on the week, REGULARLY, so that we can apply the critical model to ourselves.

But in order to get there, we have to be receptive to the process.

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That means looking into healing practices so that you can properly begin the process of self-reflection, and I just so happen to have a couple of tricks up my sleeve to make that happen for you without too much effort, and right out of the gate to boot!

Positive Affirmations and Mindful Meditations

Introspection is an amazing thing dear readers, but you don’t know what you don’t know, as they say. Who are they anyway? Well, let’s not get sidetracked, the word they is just a generalization to avoid citing sources.

So you want to be more introspective folks, because as you examine those negative thoughts, feelings, and insights, you’ll start to feel overwhelmed. And listening to pre-recored audio affirmations that you voice yourself will train your brain to listen to yourself in a different way. As you do this each day, when you wake up and then before you go to bed, your brain sub-consciously takes in these ideas and shifts away from negative self-talk to more positive self-talk.

This next part is important – You need to make declarations, especially ones that you don’t believe at the moment.

The reason for this is that these statements will slowly become things that you believe about yourself over time, and because it is as simple as listening to the statements, you aren’t working to accomplish anything. But they need to be statements that without an end or a goal. Statements of being, identity and purpose.

It’s kind of difficult to explain so rather than dwell on it, I’ll show you. For example, this is my list and it’ll help contextualize the purpose of the exercise.

I am a child of God with infinite worth.
I am always taken care of.
God loves me and accepts me.
I am always more than enough.
The worth of my soul is great.
I now fully accept myself.
My body is now in perfect balance.
I am always healthy and strong.
Everything I touch prospers.
Other people experience their worth when they are in my presence.
Everything works together for my good.

Now I don’t think you need any of the points around a spiritual purpose, but it is important to be balanced in terms of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. So if you have a belief system or you have no belief system, you can replace “God” with whatever works for you. If you are an atheist for instance turn “I am a child of God with infinite worth” into “I am child of humanity with infinite worth”, and “God loves me and accepts me” into “I am loved and accepted.”

Another key component to consider is that when you are recording these statements, you should replace I with you where appropriate so that you are saying these messages back to yourself, and it has been shown that classical music elevates the mind, so why not put some Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven as a backing track?

Next, loop the audio track so that it comes in at about 15 minutes, and export the mp3. You have the basis for your positivity. If you can commit to this process over a month, you’ll be shocked at how much of a difference it makes in your mood, and then see how you feel after three months.

Yes, I know that this wasn’t entirely a “timely” post friends, but this is routine something that I recently got back into myself, and coming off the heels of a break-up, I’ve felt significantly better following this protocol than I would’ve if I had just kept my thoughts to myself.

The results are truly staggering, but that’s just a theory.

Tim!

 

Happy Thoughts (How To Find Happiness)

Posted on by Tim Kuefler

What is happiness anyway? And what does it take to stay healthy and happy throughout our short time here on this spinning rock?

I often wonder about that one dear readers. Well, I think about it constantly if we are going to get down to brass tacks. I keep it on my mind and in my heart in particular for safe keeping.

With so much uncertainty in life and the responsibility to make good decisions it can be challenging to know what to do with the time we have available to us. And because of this uncertainty, it seemingly becomes a lot easier when we delegate our free will to other parties, letting them live rent-free in our heads when we should be taking care of our own shit.

Then we can live like crabs in the bucket.

You see, the well travelled route in many cases is often the least satisfying overall, but it is in our nature to avoid resistance sparked behaviour. Living our lives with a goal of everyone should have the same, and no one can do better, because then you get attacked and shamed.

And you can do it to other people too if you are feeling down ever.

Which is why that old adage of “aspire to wealth and fame, it will inevitably lead you to happiness” is a false one. Sure it is incredibly easy to work “really hard” at a singular focus, especially when that focus is one that makes money. But the results of that behaviour lead us away from what can really produce those happiness results.

Let me elaborate.

There are common career paths that people can take, and often you will find that those paths get applause from the majority of people because they are “safe” and pragmatic. But the reality is that we aren’t all cut out to be teachers, healthcare workers, engineers, accountants, and salespeople. But those jobs are prevalent everywhere, so they get positive attention.

Don’t be confused and think that I disagree with those professions, no I think that there are people who are qualified AND passionate about those areas and should be in those jobs, my concern is that the crab bucket mentality pushes people (especially creative people) who shouldn’t be in those fields to set their standards in the wrong direction.

Which is why it appears to be fun and acceptable to fantasize about wealth and fame. Having money seems like a great way to assure yourself of security in life, and fame looks to yield those results too.

Now if you haven’t had the pleasure of reading tabloids or gossip magazines, guess what many of the people who experience ridiculous amounts of fame struggle with? Relationships and health. The ones who have worked hard on themselves and their full skillset don’t see these issues, but those who limp along, then hit a spot of luck with whatever talent they have aren’t truly ready for the incredible pressure that money and fame put on an individual.

As the Notorious B.I.G. would say, mo money, mo problems.

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So how do you combat that problems of mediocrity and overexposure? It’s simple really, you recognize what your life purpose is and go for that. However much or little time you can dedicate to it, you put that full effort into your day and over time you will find that you are investing your energy into healthy relationships too, because you are naturally happier.

But that’s not it, that’s where we run into the problem of rookie rockstars.

It’s not just as simple as following your life purpose. The kicker is that you have to find a way to build and maintain intimate relationships too.

This video by Robert Waldinger is a pretty solid summary of what I’m referring to.

As a creative type, you will struggle with self-doubt and you will experience people who don’t believe in or undervalue what you are making, but loneliness can be even more toxic then the problems of addictive behaviour. What I mean by this is that you can definitely be in a toxic relationship and feel alone all the same, and avoiding people just because they don’t “get it” won’t help either.

You need to believe in what you are creating, and protect it, but never shield everything for the sake of your craft. As the saying goes, don’t cut off your nose to spite the face.

This balancing act is definitely more challenging, but it is so worth it when you can look back even one year and say to yourself, I am loved and I accomplished this!

What do you think? Is this just a theory? Or is it a theory with some salt? Until next time my friends.

Tim!