The 5 Love Languages (Gary D. Chapman)

Wednesday is typically a day for wisdom here on timotheories, as you know, dear readers.

It’s the day I share ideas from famous artists, motivational pieces of art, give suggestions on things you can do to make your life more fulfilling, and sometimes I dole out my own theories of global wisdom. For example, on one post in particular, I decided to construct my own reading list and then I came up with a catchy theme to describe the different types of books I would draw from to grow and shape my own journey. Like Liu Kang.

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I even called it The Reading List. Not like Liu Kang.

Which makes perfect sense to me, even if it is a bit obvious. Like Liu Kang. But then as mentioned I took the post a bit further and came up with a conceptual framework to flesh out the types of books I would be reading going forward.

I called that concept the The 5 L’s of Language, not to be confused with the name of a book called The Five Love Languages, and which is authored by one Gary D. Chapman. Who happens to be this week’s featured author.

Just in case you forgot, this is what The 5 L’s of Language look like –

 

I will read one book a month from the 5 groupings below, slowly expanding the number of books read so that I reach the point of 5 books a month. A book for each group

  1. LIFE – Biographies/Art/Music
  2. LOVE – Classic Fiction/Non-Fiction/Graphic Novels
  3. LEARN – Business/Leadership/Self-Help
  4. LABEL – Philosophy/Sociology/Psychology
  5. LEET– The Internet

If you haven’t figured it out just yet, the topic o’ the day is LEARN. As In you need to learn your own unique primary love language as well as how the other four work. You do this so that you can properly love yourself, a romantic partner, and even manage other relationships better, whether you are single, married, a child, teenager, or even just a man.

Gary D. Chapman, Five Kinds of Love

Gary D. Chapman has authored at least five books related to the concept of five love languages and co-authored two books on the languages of apology and appreciation. He originally came up with the idea of The Five Love Languages after looking into twelve years worth of his own notes on common patterns he witnessed when counselling couples. He asked a very simple question – when someone feels unloved by their spouse, what do they want from them? And thus five categories of answers emerged.

If you can learn to appreciate the difference between words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gift giving, then you’re working towards a rather positive and generous view of love and how to share it.

I bet you’re hoping for more of a definition of each term, so that you can go out and apply these ideas ASAP. Well, okay, but I recommend that you read the book first, and then run a legit profile through Chapman’s website.

With that mentioned here is a quick overview of each language –

  • Words of Affirmation: spoken affection, praise, or appreciation.
  • Acts of Service: actions, rather than words, used to show and receive love.
  • Receiving Gifts: giving gifts that are meaningful.
  • Quality Time: expressing affection with undivided attention.
  • Physical Touch: sex, holding hands, hugs – affection via touch.

As you get comfortable with the languages friends, you’ll learn which of the five is most important to you, and then you begin to implement the philosophy into your own life.

For example, if your primary love language is “quality time” like me, that means you should spend time for yourself on meaningful activities, whether those activities include another party or two is up to you, but if you make art, you’ll like enjoy doing it on your lonesome. Or if physical touch is important to you, maybe you spend time in dance classes, making theatre with friends or regularly hugging your friends and family. But that’s just a theory.

Tim!

How To Stay On Topic AND Be Topical (The Reading List)

Reading is cathartic, sharpens your mind, and expands your world. How it manages to do all of this is kind of amazing, but I’ve written about that before (see here, here, and here for recent examples), and it’s not really what this timely Thursday post is really about.

This entry is about another of my lifestyle goals as a cultivator of the arts.

You see friends, I’ve always been a lover of knowledge. Every personality test I’ve taken, every mentor I’ve had, and many of the compliments I have been given by generous humanly have usualy revolved around my intellect. I’ve spent thousands of hours of my life in thought and in the written word, so it kinda makes sense.

It’s a great comfort to me to read and I believe it is where a lot of my natural creativity lies. I’m very thankful for this gift and I intend to continue to use it to great effect. But I’ll be the first to admit, that creativity often comes from places other than self. Sure you can carry a creative idea through to it’s logical conclusion and exhaust it by repetition and personal exploration, but even more new ideas form through experience of the world.

Which is why I need to keep reading regularly, and read new things. As an artist, a curator of art and a practitioner of artist development, it’s my pleasure to share ideas with you dear readers. That means I need to find ideas in order to share them.

Buying a new album and film every week is a start, and participating in social media to build an empire is a good for discipline, but but I’ve always found that reading is the best way to spark ideas. Which is why I’ve decided to start The Reading List. It’s ambitious for sure, but it’s the only way I know how to flesh out a process, by dreaming big and digging in.

My goal for the rest of the year, and then for the rest of my life as I know it, is to read one book a month in a packet of categories. I’m going to start slow though.

To elaborate, I’ve grouped genres and topics, but will slowly expand outward until I am consuming at least 5 kinds of books a month. I already mentioned meta-reading, where I read a book, that I will also be writing about and how it relates to the act of reading, my relationship to the author I’m reading, and how my opinion of them and the work changes over time. I’m following this challenge concurrently with The Reading List to share some insights into the reading process and what I’ve learned from some wonderful authors.

And I’ve started with Ernest Hemingway. So let’s break down my crazy library sized idea for reading, and explore the possibilities and how it will benefit you, the readers of this blog.

I will read one book a month from the 5 groupings below, slowly expanding the number of books read so that I reach the point of 5 books a month. A book for each group:

  1. LIFE – Biographies/Art/Music
  2. LOVE – Classic Fiction/Non-Fiction/Graphic Novels
  3. LEARN – Business/Leadership/Self-Help
  4. LABEL – Philosophy/Sociology/Psychology
  5. LEET -The Internet

If I can get to the point where I read a book from each topic a month, I’ll be flying pretty high. You see, dear readers, if I can embrace the 5 L’s of LANGUAGE (my own idea), then I can contribute proper to your own education and personal growth in the age of the Internet – Hence the LEET grouping.

I think it’s a pretty neat way to keep myself accountable. But what do you think? I’m out of theories for the week, so share the post and leave me some feedback. Facebook and Twitter are most appreciated.

Tim!

Things Said In Earnest (Meta-Reading)

I’m a big fan of lists, process improvement, discipline, personal development, branding, and having a purpose. These are expressions I’ve honed over years as both an artist and a marketing professional. And wisdom often denotes that if you want to continue to evolve you must change too as other successful people before you have changed.

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I do have to say something in earnest though, change is important and while that particular Xzibit meme pokes fun at recursive things, it also manages to be meta about the concept of change. As the old adage goes, the only thing constant is change.

A couple of weeks ago I shared a hint of a vision with you, as it seems I so often do.

But dear readers, you of course know that the much larger purpose of timotheories is digital curating at heart – we focus on cultivating the arts and providing you with positive feedback both on creative work and for creative professionals too…

And it is Wisdom Wednesday after all, so a vision seems appropriate. Where was I? Oh right I have a vision, a pet project, a task I am undertaking myself and which I seriously think all creative types would benefit from pursuing as well.

This project doesn’t have a name just yet, but for now, I’m going to refer to it as meta-reading. I’ve decided to tentatively call the vision as such because I know that I am going to be reading a minimum of one book a month. My rationale about said meta-reading is that I will also be writing about the act of reading, my relationship to the author I’m reading, and how my opinion of them and the work changes over time. I’m following this course because we don’t all consciously consider the act of reading. And we should. Most of us either do it or do not – which would make Yoda proud, but wouldn’t create well-rounded individuals.

So, I want to dedicate at least one post a month to a behemoth of creativity, one who I believe can provide you who some wisdom and help you to grow into the role you were meant to play, that of creative professional. I’ll admit first and foremost that this theory I have, that creativity is attainable by all, is not a new one, and I carry a heavy heart in sharing the knowledge I have gleaned from others and of course that which I personally pass on to you several times a week.

Which I why I’ve decided to start off the project of meta-reading by examines one of my favourite authors of whom I have never read anything by, but whom has been quoted and misquoted so many times in the history of writing since his contributions, and whom has been referenced in popular culture again and again.

That’s right, I’m reading a book by one Ernest Hemingway.

He has been called many things, from champ, to papa hemingway, to tiny, but Ernest Hemingway was one of the most influential writers of the 20th century. And he lived a very rich life. Unfortunately his depression ended up killing him in the end, but that is not why I want to read one of his books. I want to understand why he influenced pop culture the way he did, and quite frankly I want to gain some wisdom myself.

Which is why my task for you over the next couple of weeks is to join me as I read Hemingway’s first novel, The Sun Also Rises, and next month I’ll talk about the book, provide a little background on him and my thoughts, and do it again with another creative type. Sound good friends?

I thought so too.

And that’s all of the theories I’ve got for today. Please subscribe to the blog, leave some comments, and share with your artist loved ones. I’ll be back tomorrow with something timely.

Tim!

This Is Your Brain On Words (Quotes To Inspire Creativity)

This might seem like a bit of surprise, but I have not always enjoyed the writing process.

fresh-prince-of-bel-air-will

And I don’t think I’m alone in this attitude. Much like any “seemingly” basic skill, writing takes some time to learn, and a lifetime to master. Because of that hard truth about writing, from a young age I always felt pressured into the writing process and moreover, that I didn’t have the characteristics to make my ideas and literary voice heard. So I did what I would do with social situations, I would borrow ideas and quotes from other established works.

This of course changed after I got accepted into university and had the opportunity to expand my library of literary options.

It got more difficult!

I thought that maybe I wasn’t mature yet or life experiences hadn’t happened enough for me so I didn’t have a way of articulating detailed stories proper. But as I explored my own identity I began to realize that creativity doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and for me, I enjoyed pulling from different sources to build an idea out. Also hard won personal experiences with writing under pressure over and over again helped relieve some of the stress.

Which is a pretty cool thing, if you were to ask me. But I guess you are asking me, seeing as how you are at timotheories right now, reading about my ideas. Fortunately I do have a formal education in the arts so it’s not like I’m Joe Blow from Timbuktu writing about my snail collection.

I’m an expert in the arts and on this journey with you.

Which is why I decided that today I want to share some word wisdom with you, and in anticipation of a little old project I am about to undertake(read: new project. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll share that project with you on a later date. For now, let’s start with that sweet sweet wisdom dear readers.

I’ve written about the power of reading at least once before, but have I discussed the power of words themselves? No I didn’t think so either. Sometimes we get so caught up in our routines (which are helpful) that we forget to spend time enjoying life and *gasp*, procrastinating simply to be immersed in culture.

Matt-LeBlanc-Gasp

But seriously… Sound familiar? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Personally I’ve found that reading exercises my brain and that taking quotes from literature can help cement new ideas or creative directions I want to take – So today I’m going to share with you, in no particular order, some of my favourite quotes from film and literature, as infographics. And after you’ve gone through the list, I want you to think about how you feel. But for now, let’s take a scroll.

 

 

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4630fa22ebc4f95d679fde53cf60648db44c5d59f7c75f94f683a47c3a6c812f811a8c296c57ce68cec0bd1764b3e6cd8dfe92ffc40727f6d88387da258fd0a64be5f546399c33d7f8e8bf10d1b011d304-Herbert555195_1286482321349_full5798-but-it-aint-about-how-hard-ya-hit-its-about-how-hard13m5wfQuotefancy-4091-3840x2160

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Bet you are feeling pretty good right now? And some of those quotations are tied into your own experiences. You see, dear readers, I have this theory that word association has the incredible power to motivate, but only to motivate. It doesn’t provide discipline, like at all. But that is not what it was meant for.

You need to balance short term pains (emotions) against long term gains (skill). It’s just how it is. So why not spend some time building a Pinterest board or vision board or whatever to give yourself some instant emotional gratification? And most of those quotes are useful advice anyway, and there have been studies done that indicate human beings can only learn a few new things at a time.

So put your ideas up somewhere digital or real; bathroom and bedroom walls can do the trick. And revisit those quotes regularly, that way you can slowly absorb the knowledge you need, to increase your knowledge, skill, and discipline to create.

While, I’m out of theories and wisdom for the day friends, so I’ll see you tomorrow with something timely!

Tim!

Take A Look, It’s In A Book… (Learn to Love Learning)

You want to be successful at your art, dear readers? And to be successful, the first step is recognizing what is required of you. For instance, do you have the right attitude (or have you developed a strategy if it’s out of your control)? Because you need to stop making excuses and take advantage of free resources available to you. The environment you have set up for yourself can definitely factor into the equation too… But don’t fret because happiness is within reach!

You really have to start forming excellent habits though.

One of the ways to best accomplish your goals is to create lists and break those lists down into manageable tasks, but to be honest, that’s only going to take you so far. Once you accept that life is not something which you can complete and then coast through, that it goes on and on, you will change your expectations and invest in processes which allow you to live a good lifestyle. Look at last weeks Wisdom Wednesday on timotheories if you need more information on how to get started.

Once you start setting those habits, goals will naturally get completed, but an interesting occurrence can also happen, and if you aren’t ready for it, you’ll fall right off the horse.

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Boredom can set in.

And one of the surest ways to combat boredom is through discipline. But here is the secret dear readers, and it’s a theory I have found is very likely to be true. Very rarely do teachers, coaches, gurus or whatever they want to be called tell this. I hope it becomes common knowledge at some point soon – you need to be in good spirits in order to maintain discipline. That means diet, exercise, and sleep.

Okay timotheories, but those are kinda obvious habits to keep up, we already knew that! 

Touche, my friends, touche. But you see, I haven’t quite gotten to my point just yet. If you would just give me another minute to build up the anticipation, I promise the payoff should be worth it…

Diet and sleep are straightforward, eat healthy food that is unprocessed and do your best to limit carbohydrates as well as most sugars. Next, get somewhere between 7-9 hours of sleep every night and commit to a routine to ensure your circadian rhythms get lined up correctly (slow to start, ramping up into the middle of the day, and winding down in the evening). Now talk to your doctor and also a certified professional about a workout which suits your current body type, and ease into it.

The problem is that we are forgetting something, and I just don’t know what… Oh right, the boredom. Those activities are boring if you aren’t also exercising your mind.

Your brain automates a lot of the daily processes you use, and your mind is integral to your mood. If you aren’t in a good mood, new routines become a lot more difficult to set up. That means reading books which stimulate your mind in positive ways. From classical literature, to self-improvement, to education in the arts and sciences, to philosophy, to biography, there are a number of genres that you can and should be reading to keep your mind sharp.

You need to read if you are going to stay the course, because just like with exercising the body, if you don’t use it, you will inevitably lose it and suffer from health problems.

Now timotheories, that’s all well and good, but a lot of us don’t have TIME for reading, we work 40+ hours a week, have to fit in meals, exercise, sleep, and spending time with loved ones, AND find time to obsess over our art. How the heck are we going to fit reading into the mix?

Well, the question has been asked before, but never has it sounded so sweet to the ears.

Should you consider listening to audio books as reading? And if you do, is it a viable alternative? Yes! The answer is a resounding yes! If you can’t make the time to sit down and read, do it while you work on routine tasks, on your commute or in down time before falling asleep.

You might not be able to absorb the information as readily, but the truth of the matter is that there are a number of ways to get a hold of audio books – look here at overdrive.com for starters. This website is what a lot of libraries use to store digital copies of their books. And if you have the technology (you should), you can put the content on your phone or mp3 player for convenience.

So do yourself a favour, develop your mind, bolster your imagination, and discover new things in the process. That’s all of theories I’ve got for a today my friends, so I’ll catch you tomorrow with a timely update.

Tim!